Nurse (Doug Aarniokoski, 2013)

This is a fun little B horror, enjoying the culturally ingrained fetishisms that surround the healthcare profession and stirring in its own happy brand of weird. The film follows Abby (Paz de la Huerta) who narrates the film in a Kill Bill style as she persues her quest to punish men that she judges are letting down their wives and families. Her murderous honey-trap develops however when she mentors new nurse Danni (Katrina Bowden), and develops a dangerous obsession.

A proper exploitation film full of nudity and violence Nurse is good fun if you don’t think too hard about it. Well shot and at times quite inventive it builds its elements of body horror steadily until a Hospital becomes covered in blood. Abby is a nice addition to the slasher villain roll-call, which really has too few women on it. I couldn’t quite decide if Paz de la Huerta’s performance was eccentric or just plain bad, but it was always entertaining and the film builds to a fun if decidedly OTT finale. Katrina Bowden does a good line in not-so-defenseless damsel and Judd Nelson (of the 1980s!) provides good support, with Kathleen Turner in a quick cameo (that voice is still to die for). Could do without the CGI blood – whatever happened to condoms filled with corn-syrup? – but for an hour and a half of cheap thrills you can’t go too wrong with this.

Shortbus (John Cameron Mitchell, 2006)

This is a wonderful, fun, grown up film about sex, desire and what is (or isn’t) considered normal. On its release it gained some notoriety for the explicit sexual acts on display – but this is not hardcore pornography (no matter what Chris Tookey of the Daily Mail thinks).  Rather it’s a sweet exploration of one woman’s sexual frustration, and an acknowledgement that trust, openness, and self-knowledge are required for sexual fulfillment. Sure it may be idealized to an extent (mostly avoiding questions of STDs, etc) but it presents itself in an overtly playful manner (opening and closing with a cardboard model of New York). At times it’s very funny. When Hollywood struggles to represent anything vaguely grown-up about sex (and sometimes alarmingly placing sexual desire and objectification onto younger women – check out this Honest Trailer for Transformers 4) and women in their 30s are too old for men in their 50s (even when the woman is the wonderful Maggie Gyllenhaal)  any film that challenges this is welcome. They’re especially welcome when they are this much fun.

I wouldn’t suggest you watch it with your mother though. Or if you’re homophobic, transphobic, ageist, rascist or thinking that the gay marriage vote in Ireland is the worst thing to happen in the last 100 years.

Scanners (David Cronenberg, 1981)

What was the Canadian government smoking in the late 1970s/early 1980s? Whatever is was we have their liberal ideas on film financing for the career of the great David Cronenberg, king of body-horror and overall a damn fine film-maker (watch A History of Violence if you don’t believe me, and if you do believe me watch it anyway!) Scanners is very much part of his early work, though less sexual than Rabid of The Brood. It has much of the roughness of his early films (partly due to budget and a short production time), but the ideas shine through, and this is what makes so much of Cronenberg’s films worth a look. He has great ideas. In this a thalidomide like drug has been tested on pregnant mothers, giving their children psychic powers which, in one bravura sequence, can lead to people’s heads exploding.

Not all the acting is great, but the effects work well and the pace of the film never lets up. Striding the film like a colossus is the great Michael Ironside as the bad-guy Darryl Revok – some serious acting happens whenever he’s on screen, and the film does sag a little without him. Patrick McGoohan turns up (sporting an excellent beard) to offer some sinister support. A late night treat.

Anatomy of Hell (Catherine Breillat, 2004)

I have completed my public service for the year by watching Anatomy of Hell so you don’t have to. It’s rubbish. It wants to be a look at women’s anatomy (something it is very literal about), telling us how men fear and hate them. I have many issues with that concept in itself. Overall it’s pretentious, boring, facile, homophobic and very, very, representative of the worst excesses of French cinema. People have obscure conversations about sex. A gay man (who keeps having sex with a woman) stares at the sea. I think there are metaphors. Maybe there aren’t.

Beyond shock value, of a fairly puerile nature, there is nothing to recommend this film. Watch Shortbus instead if you want an adult discussion of a woman’s sexuality.

Braindead (Peter Jackson, 1992)

It has taken me a long time to watch this notable classic of the zombie film. Finally last night I cued it up and good God it’s amazing, delirious and, in it’s own gory way, quite touching. Knowing of Jackson’s subsequent career only adds to the fun as you watch various limbs torn away, holes punched into the backs of people’s heads and the hero almost literally re-born.

Sure it’s a gore-fest, but it’s also a love story and a rather wicked satire on middle-class mores. Poor old Lionel, he’s dominated by a foul mother, who’s main concerns are her application to join the New Zealand version of the WI and keeping her boy from leaving her. Pacquita longs for love and her gran’s tarot points to Lionel. Sadly a rat-monkey from Skull Island (yes that one, apparently these creatures were created when the rats from a slave ship raped the local primates) sinks its teeth into Lionel’s mum and, then things get really weird. Stir in a kung-gu vicar, a grotesque uncle and a lawn-mower and a cult classic is born. Throughout though Jackson, and partner Fran Walsh, never lose sight of Lionel’s struggles and his love for Pacquita. Somehow this film manages to be scary, funny, tense, ridiculous, disgusting and surprising. Often at the same time.

Please avoid if the idea of zombie sex, zombie babies, sentient killer entrails, and 1950s fashion offends. Otherwise dive in. Also I haven’t laughed as hard as when The Archers played over a scene for ages. Might not look at the blender in the same way though.

Life Itself (Steve James, 2014)

Whether you’re a fan of Roger Ebert’s film criticism or not (I am, his work is erudite, enthusiastic and accessible) you’d have to have a heart made of stone not to be moved by this wonderful documentary. Made when Ebert was suffering through a variety of, ultimately failed, medical treatments this film transcends its premise (to show a warts and all review of his career) to become a beautiful essay in the power of love and devotion. Although the first half covers Ebert’s career with a welcome honesty, particularly his love/hate relationship with Gene Siskel, and his break through into becoming a cultural commentator as much as a critic, it’s the final third of the film where it takes off. A documentary about a man, becomes a love story between Ebert and his wife Chaz. Chaz’s devotion is incredible, as is Ebert’s humour and dedication to writing that helps sustain him even when his voice is gone. It is one of life’s cruel ironies that such a passionate speaker should be silenced, but as long as his fingers kept moving, he kept writing.

It’s no spoiler to reveal how the film ends, with Ebert’s passing. The real surprises in this film come from the warmth he inspired, and his willingness to embrace film from all areas. Oh for a popular film show that took criticism and debate seriously as he and Siskel did. Kudos to, to Steve James. Shaping a documentary must be a nightmare, without the reliance on a pre-defined structure. He remains present but unobtrusive in his own film, allowing the subjects to speak for themselves.

I know it’s corny, but TWO THUMBS UP!

They Live (John Carpenter, 1988)

A classic dystopian movie about John Nada (get it?), a drifter who stumbles into the biggest conspiracy you can imagine. Turns out the 1% are aliens! Ok, it’s a hokey premise, but somehow Carpenter makes it a fantastic film. A lot of this is to do with Carpenters use of wide lenses creating a big vista to set the film against. The detail and quality of the image manages to obscure the meager budget ($3 million), as does the effectiveness of the alien conspiracy – the hook is that it’s all there, all around us (in adds, on TV, printed on money), but we can’t see it. Messages are bombarding our unconscious; “Obey”, “Buy”, “Conform”, “Consume” flash at us as subliminal messages. “Do not question authority” is the real message of the newspapers. But one day Nada finds a pair of sunglasses, and they show the truth. And then, in his words, he’s here to chew bubble-gum and kick ass, and he’s all out of bubble gum.

As Nada “Rowdy” Roddy Piper is great, nailing confusion and and despair, but also righteous anger. His ably supported by Keith David, a man so desperate to keep his head down he refuses to wear the glasses. One of the film’s most famous moments involved Piper and David wrestling over a wearing the specs; David’s character is all of us – happy to stay ignorant, to work for our families, “Man, I told you, I don’t want to be involved!”

The film suffers a little from Carpenter’s inability to provide a great 3rd act (something that crops up in a lot of his movies) – but the ideas resonate. 27 years after it was made, it feels as relevant as ever.

That a film like this was made anywhere in Hollywood is amazing – sure it’s not a mainstream Hollywood film, but this is close to being a full endictment of the capitalist system. A classic exploration of how ideology dominates our lives, without us knowing. Don’t believe me, try this link to the wonderful Slavoj Zizek.

Room in Rome (Julio Medem, 2010)

A lovely romantic comedy drama that covers a single night, in a single hotel room, Room in Rome is a nice little surprise package. Marketing concentrated on the more salacious elements involved when two women fall in love but the sex and nudity that plastered the ads barely covers the film. Yes it has sex, and yes it has nudity (which is much more natural than the false covering up of Hollywood films), but mostly it has emotion – the type when two disparate people come together with such a crash it makes them question their lives and futures.

Alba (Elena Anaya – from The Skin I Live In) and Natasha (Natasha Yarovenko) meet one night and explore their identities and desires. Both actresses are good across several languages and do well to keep what could have been a stagey set-up as natural. Occasionally pretentious, but mostly a fun, flirty, romantic flick.

Creature (William Malone, 1985)

There’s no surer sign of a film’s poor quality than an identity crisis. Known as Creature, Titan Find and The Titan Find, this films brings ripping off Alien to a new, but not wholly unentertaining low. On Saturn’s moon, Titan, some really stupid astronauts break a vessel that has lain undisturbed for 2000 centuries (an oddly specific number). Something breaks loose and soon enough more hapless idiots are sent to investigate. The backdrop is a trade war between the US and Germany. I couldn’t work out why Germany was the economics power of the future until Klaus Kinski arrived – have German actor, have German plot elements.

A variety of morons are picked off – with some entertaining variations on Alien. Although unexplained this monster can also control your mind via a squelchy thing on your ear. I wondered why this had been added, but then I saw the monster and understood – I would have hidden it away for as long as possible. It’s a complete rip-off of Giger’s design, but without a neck, which I guess makes it original. It also makes it moor like a penis. As if someone watched Alien and said “y’know I like it, but the alien’s not penisy enough”. It’s all rather obvious, but then Kinksi saves the day, looking like he wandered onto the set by accident and acts as if he’s in a completely different film.

It all barrells along predicatibally, with some fun as it builds towards the climax which is spectacularly ruined when a missing character re-emerges having got lost. Really.

Trivia – American Dad fans may be excited by the fact that the lead character is played Wendy Schall, the voice of Francine.

The Last Exorcism (Daniel Stamm, 2010)

Spoilers!

The Last Exorcism is usually the sort of film I avoid. For one it sounds like yet another riff on The Exorcist, a film that I find to be chronically over-rated. Another is the fact that it belongs in the found-footage/faux-documentary style of films, which has its mainstream horror origins in the also overrated Blair Witch Project (two of the most boring hours I’ve spent in the cinema). Yet I found myself watching late one Saturday night, and surprise,  it’s entertaining. Although it has its fair share of traditional bumps and shocks, the documentary twist actually adds to the film as the main character Cotton Marcus (a pastor who decides to demonstrate through the documentary that exorcism is a flimflam operation) uses the camera to open up about his own thoughts and ideas. Rather than simply using a hand-camera to obscure the action, the decision to run with the documentary style, which includes the input of the producer and cameraman, adds a reflective quality to the film.  And this is where the film plays its trump card by never really deciding whether the possession is real or not. Unlike The Exorcist, which played its hand very early, The Last Exorcism, allows lingering doubt. The end, which comes over like a mash-up of The Wicker Man and Rosemary’s Baby, isn’t wholly original but leaves things nicely poised for the inevitable sequel – which I suppose means that this film is actually The Second to Last Exorcism.